There is a series on NPR called
This I Believe that I like. I’ve wanted to contribute but have never found the right words. This Sunday I feel like I should have something positive to say. It’s not that I’m feeling down, exactly, just more introspective. Hopefully there is a way to turn my contemplative thoughts into something both interesting and useful?
I think people who don’t know me well would find it curious that the thing I believe in most is spiritual in nature. Sure, I like to break the rules and talk about politics and religion in mixed company as often as I can get away with it, but I think even people that only know me casually understand that I usually take on taboo topics just because they’re taboo. In those conversations I’m almost always the Devil’s advocate, despite my true views and feelings. I know for a fact that, because I’m always playing the flip-side, some of my acquaintances don’t have the faintest clue what I really believe.
Most of the time I think God, too, would find it curious that the thing I believe in most is spiritual in nature. I’m far from the epitome of the stereotypical American Christian. I don’t actually go to church (little c), I don’t read the bible often (with a little b, although it is admittedly one of the many books sitting on a stack for me to read), and I’m a progressive liberal (yes, actually lots of progressive liberals are also Christian.)
I believe, with all of my heart and all of my mind, that there is a reason. I know this is a pretty common thing to think, but not believe, and I know from experience that there are a lot of people who don’t agree and might even say I’m deluding myself. Yet, this is my most important belief and it is at the core of what makes me a religious person despite the fact that I don’t go to church, I don’t read the bible often, and I’m a progressive liberal.
Some days it’s easier than others to believe that there is a reason — we all have good and bad days, I suppose. Some days I see a blue sky, filled with clouds during a sunset that paints the heavens orange and red and pink and purple. Some days I’m surrounded by the love of my friends or my family and we know how wonderful it is to be with each other just by a look across the dinner table. Other days I feel lonely, spending an evening at home. Those days occasionally make me think about sadder times.
Either way, I have a policy I learned from my friend the turtle: slow but steady wins the race. The important part of that moral is “steady.” We have to be steadfast in our journey and remember that the road thus far has brought us to where we are. We must move steadily forward or we are surely doomed to fail in our quest. My friend the turtle didn’t slow, he didn’t falter, and he didn’t look back. I’ve had many a grand daydream imagining what I might do with a time machine, knowing all along that should one be made available I would walk away. The journey is the point — the path behind us is only important in that it brought us here and presented us with the choices we have today. The things on that path had a purpose and are all sacred.
The nay-sayers will tell you that “believing” there is a reason is simply the rationalization of a mythological system to explain those parts of the universe that are either random or that science hasn’t seen fit to explain (yet). I even understand where they were coming from. I think they’re wrong. I actually think that it’s a rationalization to call it a mythological system. Some of the people who don’t believe as I do say this because they think that believing is a choice. I’m a scientist, but that’s the big lie of science, the assertion that it’s a choice to believe; it’s not.
I believe because I have to. I believe because each and every day, the universe conspires to tell me that there is a reason. Sunsets, friends, family, loneliness — the path is set and there’s no going back. The only choice is not to believe. That’s not a choice furnished by science, it’s the one that God gives us and I believe there’s an important reason for that, too.
Spirituality and Faith
03/09/2008 at 20:46 ET
Today was not so good. I only made it about 2/3 or 3/4 of my 1.4 mile route and then had to stop. The biggest problem was that my shins started hurting something awful. I’ve been feeling them since I started this whole project, but today was way above the rest of the days. I then had to walk home, which may have felt even worse, and had to stop a few times. I’ve found some resources I’m going to use today after I write this and tomorrow to try to stretch these suckers out.
Exercise Journal
03/09/2008 at 12:11 ET
…my new favorite bumper sticker.
I don’t have many favorites — no favorite movie and no favorite candy bar. Yet, I have, from time to time, had a favorite bumper sticker. Most of you probably don’t know about my old favorite bumper sticker, “Somewhere in Texas, a village is missing their idiot.” That one still gets me if I see it, although it’s been a while. It’s also been a while since I designated it as my favorite bumper sticker, so now seems like a good time to update my choice. “Who would Jesus bomb?” definitely takes the cake.
Honestly, in the current political and social climate, I was a little shocked by the bumper sticker at first. I couldn’t believe that someone would be so audacious to suggest that there is an answer to that question. People wearing W.W.J.D. bracelets who spout hatred against gays and talk about the necessity for capital punishment are the all-too-common popular stereotype of an American Christian. (Seriously, are they concerned that in a wold without capital punishment there wouldn’t have been a vehicle for salvation?) Crazy Christians who are too concerned with the ways and dogma of the church to spend any time understanding Jesus are one thing — the half-second I thought that someone would invoke the persona of Jesus to justify war boiled my blood.
After I took another half-second to calm down and realized the question was rhetorical, I did a little searching on the internet and confirmed the message the driver was trying to convey was likely more enlightened. There are some people who have taken up this slogan and I’m very proud of them. Here’s a good one: David Rovics Sings “Who Would Jesus Bomb?”
Political, Spirituality and Faith
03/07/2008 at 17:39 ET
The other day I told you about some of the stuff Mike sent me in advance of the new Dave Barnes album coming out on April 1. What I didn’t tell you about was the poster. You see, it came in this big padded manila envelope, but all I found in it at first was the CD and some stickers. I’m like, “That’s a lot of envelope for a CD…”
Then I noticed the poster. There was this little Dave Barnes poster in there. I didn’t really know what to do with it, because I don’t really celebrate celebrity in a normal way. I don’t think Dave (or any singer, actor, etc.) should be idolized or imitated or fawned after. He’s just a good singer and guitar player and I really like his CDs.
So last night I was sitting around with my roommate Matt. We were talking about the stickers and the blog, and somehow I thought of the poster. Trying to be funny, I said something like, “I’ll take it to school and put it in my locker.” Well, in about two seconds I realized that I actually do have a locker, kind of. (A locker at work, not at school.) Where most people have a set of four drawers to file things in, that space in my cube was empty when I was hired for this role. I looked around and found this storage cabinet instead — it’s very handy since I have almost zero files. Sooooo I brought the poster to work today and put it in my locker. I never did put anything like this up in my locker in high school, who says you can’t teach an old dog new tricks!
My Life
03/05/2008 at 09:49 ET
The other day a very strange thing happened to me. I got a completely unsolicited e-mail from a guy who wanted me to send him my home address. “Delete it,” right? That’s what I thought at first, but, internet safety rules aside, I gave it a second look. I’m kind of glad I did — it’s pretty cool.
The guy was a representative of a company who produces my friend Dave Barnes (which you know if you’ve read this blog). I’m using “friend” in the pedestrian here — we’ve never met before. I’ve just listened to his music a lot. Anyway, Dave has a new album (Me + You + the World) coming out on April 1. This guy (let’s call him Mike, ’cause that won’t be confusing) sent me an album sampler, a poster, and some stickers. The stickers are that red picture up at the top there.
So I listened to the CD. I was specifically asked not to post the songs (not that I would do that, ever) but I think I’m supposed to tell you about the new album and hopefully you’ll want to buy it. Well, I’ll do my best, here goes… There were three songs: #1 is “Until You.” I don’t get this, because it was on Brother, Bring the Sun. Moving along… #2 is called “Brothers & Sisters.” This is a fine song, and I’m pretty sure Mike M. and I heard it when Two Birds, One Stone was in town, but it’s kind of pop-ish. #3 is called “When a Heart Breaks.” I like this one the best on the little CD. I’ll be listening to it more.
So that’s my story. Pretty cool. In the past week I got confirmation that two people are (kind of) reading my blog. That’s more than I thought…
If you think you’d like to buy the album, check these out:
My Life
03/03/2008 at 19:38 ET
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