I was talking to Andrea the other day about Facebook posts and how they should be upbeat, relevent, and generally give people a chuckle. Therefore I’ll start off by saying that, although I’m only writing this so I can link to it from Facebook, I’m not actually writing it on Facebook and I think that makes it better and keeps me from being a hypocrite. (That’s a valid loophole, right?)
Last weekend was tough, and I owe about 100 people a debt of gratitude. I’ll never even know all of their names, but I’ll always be grateful for all the family, friends, and strangers that made saying goodbye to my Grandpa a beautiful experience. We were blessed to have pleasant weather and so many family (and friends we consider family) gather around us to say goodbye. Having so many people around showed a heartwarming amount of respect and love for Grandpa, enabled us to comfort and support each other, and connected us together as a family. The whole time, looking at all the pictures of his gigantic, sincere smile I knew that, wherever he is, Grandpa must have been smiling down on us, filled with the love we were sharing.
Today I got to a song in my “New to Me” playlist that really summed-up the feelings I have been having. My Grandpa could be a difficult person sometimes, but he gave selflessly his whole life. I really believe, even in the midst of the worst arguments that everything he did was motivated by genuine love for everyone he interacted with. One memory I was able to share with everyone was how he would grab on to your elbow when he had something to say – even if you would have rather politely excused yourself to another conversation. Sometimes, even if that action was irritating, he was present in our lives. He never gave up his argument either, and although that may have revealed some stubbornness and pride, it also showed that he would never give up on you. He kept arguing because he kept caring enough to try and convince you.
Driving out to Florida National Cemetery was a lot more than I had even hoped it would be. It took a little bit to get there, but having a military honor guard make a final salute to someone who served his country so well was stirring. He wasn’t outwardly prideful of his rank or his military accomplishments, but I know Grandpa would be pleased to know that his sacrifice and hard work was honored. I remember the honor guard marching away before the pastor spoke and remembered when Grandmother and Grandpa took me to a military base to see a graduation ceremony and Grandpa commented on the marching.
Although we may have to without him, I’m glad to say that we’ll march on even though Grandpa no longer can. This brings me a mournful joy: I know that’s what he’d want us to do and I know we’ll carry him along with us.
For those days we felt like a mistake,
Those times when love’s what you hate,
Somehow we keep marchin on.
For those nights that I couldn’t be there,
I’ve made it harder to know that you know
That somehow we’ll keep movin on.
Theres so many wars we fought,
Theres so many things we’re not,
But with what we have
I promise you that we’re marchin on.
For all of the plans we made
There isn’t a flag I’d wave,
Don’t care where we’ve been,
I’d sink us to swim: we’re marchin on.
For those doubts that swirl all around us,
For those lives that tear at the seams,
We know we’re not what we’ve seen.
For this dance we move with each other,
There ain’t no other step
Than one foot right in front of the other.
There’s so many wars we fought,
There’s so many things we’re not,
But with what we have
I promise you that we’re marchin on.
For all of the plans we made
There isn’t a flag I’d wave,
Don’t care where we’ve been,
I’d sink us to swim: we’re marchin on.
Right, Right, Right, Right, Left
Marchin On
We’ll have the days we break
And we’ll have the scars to prove it.
We’ll have the bombs that we saved
And we’ll have the heart not to lose it.
For all of the times we stopped,
For all of the things I’m not.
You put one foot in front of the other.
You move like we ain’t got no other.
We go where we go – we’re marchin on.
There’s so many wars we fought,
There’s so many things we’re not,
But with what we have
I promise you that we’re marchin on.
Right, Right, Right, Right, Left
Marchin On
“Marchin On”
OneRepublic
Waking Up
©Mosley Music Group
My Life
01/20/2010 at 19:12 ET
Good evening.
A lot of people have been getting to know each other this weekend, and a common question has been “how do you know Donna?” or “how do you know Mike?” A lot of you may have heard that I’m Mike’s best friend – we met in 2nd grade. Some of you may have even heard a story about that fateful first meeting. I’m sure I don’t remember very much at all about second grade, so maybe Mike’s version is more accurate – and it’s definitely funnier – but I thought I’d take this opportunity to set the record straight.
In second grade my family moved from Columbia, PA to a new house about six miles down the road in Mountville. One of the big motivators for choosing our new house was getting into a better school district, so, right around Halloween, I started at Mountville Elementary. I’m sure it was a little overwhelming to be the new kid on the scene in the middle of the school year. Maybe I don’t remember all the details of how Mike and I first met, but I know there was a mix-up with a spelling test, I think someone was indeed in the wrong room, and there may have been some crying involved. What I do remember is that Mike helped me get assimilated into that new school and I barely remember a time of my life when he wasn’t my friend.
I think that story, if somewhat nostalgic, makes more sense than his version because it tells you a little about who Mike is. He’s a helper – always has been – who might be content to make his way, minding his own business, until he sees someone who needs a little assistance. That’s when he swoops into action, for a friend, for a stranger, or even for a foe, to lend a helping hand. He’s kind and generous and loyal, and much more like my brother than just a friend.
When he moved to Florida, Mike was trying to help me. We were both entering our 30’s and I think it seemed to him like we both needed a change-of-pace. When he got here he tried the dating scene for a while, but you could tell that he was just a little jaded. Then something changed: he met Donna. I could tell right away that something was different.
Donna turned out to be an amazing woman, a great new friend, and a wonderful partner for Mike. She’s smart, funny, open-minded, athletic, and really challenges Mike to be a better man. I hope they won’t be embarrassed to hear me say that finding someone good enough to present that challenge for Mike was a special find indeed. Donna is wise and insightful, fun and vivacious, and I’ve really enjoyed getting to know her. Mike’s been my surrogate brother for a long time and I’m excited that now Donna is my surrogate sister-in-law.
Mike’s been in my family for a long time. Now, in this place, filled with friends and family from Florida, New York, Pennsylvania, the Air Force, and places from across the country to across the globe, we are joined as a larger family. What’s brought us together is the love that Donna and Mike share.
Some of our friends from Florida have a habit of coming up with these cute little sayings. One of the ones we like to use when ribbing each other about marriage is, “forever is a long time.” There’s a good chance you’ve already heard someone say (or shout) it tonight. We all know that some marriages can face difficult times, but I know that Donna and Mike have the devotion to overcome any challenge. This is evident in the love they give to us and to each other – it will watch over them and see them through:
Love is patient, love is kind.
It does not envy, it does not boast,
it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking,
it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs.
Love does not delight in evil but rejoices in the truth.
It bears all things,
believes all things,
hopes all things,
endures all things.
Love never ends.
I know Donna and Mike are ready for their forever together.
So please raise your glasses with me. Donna and Mike, on behalf of your family and friends: thank you for this beautiful party, thank you for bringing us together as your family, and thank you for the love you share with us. We wish you all the best in your life together. As you support and care for each other on your journey together, we look forward to following along on what’s sure to be exciting forever.
We love you. Best of luck. Congratulations!
My Life
10/24/2009 at 23:05 ET
I went to church this morning. I’ve been dabbling in going to church for a few years but it’s hard for me to find a place that I’m comfortable. I think part of the reason is that most people go to church as a family. That really came into focus for me when I saw that this church (which is for most intents and purposes new to me) offers counseling for “being single.” It even sounds strange to me as I write it now, but this morning I thought, “hmmm, yeah, that’s interesting.” The idea of being a single parishioner is all well and good, but actually showing up at the sanctuary by yourself is something else entirely.
The other challenge, of course, is finding a Christian community that’s inclusive for gays and lesbians. As I reach out into the community as a whole, I’m finding that my sexuality is once again much more “out there” (pardon the pun) than I would otherwise make it. I don’t want to go to a church that has pride flags in the sanctuary (that’s not what church is about). At the same time, I can’t be an active part of a congregation if I can’t tell people that I’m an artistic leader of the Orlando Gay Chorus.
This weekend, I’m pleased to say, there is increasing hope that the Church is coming around. On Friday, the Evangelical Lutheran Church in America voted by at 66% margin to allow gays and lesbians in committed relationships to serve as clergy. The final decision is still up to individual congregations (as it should be) but the margin of approval among the church’s leadership, I think, is a fantastic sign.
The part of the article was the quote by one of the pastors: “We can learn not to define ourselves by negation, by not only saying what we are against….” This really rings true for me. Jesus didn’t spend so much time talking about what He was against. He spent a whole lifetime preaching about what He was for: love. I’m not sure yet, but I’d like to see if I can find a church that embraces this principle. The sermon this morning gave me a lot of hope.
In the past week I’ve also discovered a new song that pretty much sums it up.
Brothers, let us come together
Walking in the Spirit, there’s much to be done
We will come reaching, out from our comforts
And they will know us by our love
Sisters, we were made for kindness
We can pierce the darkness as He shines through us
We will come reaching, with a song of healing
And they will know us by our love!
The time is now, come church arise
Love with His hands, see with His eyes
Bind it around you, let it never leave you
And they will know us by our love
Children, you are hope for justice
Stand firm in the truth now, set your hearts above
You will be reaching, long after we’re gone
And they will know you by your love!
The time is now, come church arise
Love with His hands, see with His eyes
Bind it around you, let it never leave you
And they will know us by our love
“By Our Love”
Christy Nockels
Life Light Up
© 2009 Sparrow Records / sixsteprecords
Spirituality and Faith
08/23/2009 at 17:13 ET
I don’t often respond to a message board, article, or blog in the comment section. It’s too easy to get lost in the throng of off-topic, uninformed, or mean-spirited posts. This morning when I had a little time to kill because of work however, I came across an interesting article. Perhaps because I’m passionate about the topic, or maybe because it was such an unreasonable hour after a 12+ hour day, I decided to go for it. Not one to let 60 minutes of work go unnoticed, I thought I’d try to bring it to your attention.
The original article from techcrunch is Flickr v. Free Speech. Where Is Their Courage? I read the whole article even though I didn’t find the argument very compelling and I noticed a lack of supporting information in the places it was needed most (and maybe a few too many citations I didn’t care about because of what was lacking.)
After skimming through all the comments and reading most of what I thought where the good ones, I decided to respond to the author’s comment buried in this comment. If you aren’t interested in reading all that, just skip to my comment.
I think my argument stands for itself, but there’s one thing I’ll add. The author of the article makes a claim that
Yahoo/Flickr should have asked its attorneys if the copyright claim had any validity at all before removing the image … [who could have told] … you that this is clearly a fair use of the original Obama image, Time Magazine’s copyright and copyright around the movie.
I wish the author would have consulted a lawyer. The DMCA’s Online Copyright Infringement Liability Act (OLCILA) was specifically created to prevent Service Providers from having much incentive to make any judgment about the validity of the copyright claim. More than that (and let me reassert, as I did in my comment, that I’m not a lawyer), the concept of Fair Use and more specifically, parodies, is an affirmative defense. This means that you’re still actually violating someone’s copyright and can still be sued, but (if your affirmative defense is proven) will be able to get out of it in court. This status as an affirmative defense makes it even less likely that a company receiving a substantially sufficient DMCA take-down notice would question the take-down because they thought the content was a parody — the OLCLIA doesn’t really give them the ability to do that without jeopardizing their safe harbor.
To quote myself:
Like it or not, this is the check-and-balance that makes the situation livable. To make the system work, the public has a responsibility to hold people accountable by filing counter notices and suing for misrepresentation if necessary.
Computer Geek
08/22/2009 at 10:01 ET
Away back in the day, my parents got me a card for high school graduation. For about 10 years, wherever I lived I put it up on my wall like a poster. I still have most of the message memorized and while I was on the treadmill this morning, I thought of the moral, “… the true worth of you travels lies not in where you come to be at journey’s end, but in who you come to be along the way.”
I could say a lot about this quote and how it’s shaped my entire adult life (not to be overly dramatic.) What I was thinking about today, though, is new and different. And, like I imagine the card was, it’s something my mom gave me.
A lot of people have asked me about my recent transformation and weight loss. As much as making the change in myself has been fun and rewarding, sometimes talking to other people can be very awkward or even uncomfortable. Sometimes they say crazy stuff, like “we’ll hold you down and shove food in your mouth” (I wish that was an exaggeration). Other times I don’t know how to talk to or around people who obviously have a much more serious problem than I did. Perhaps the most troubling question to answer, though, is people who sincerely ask me “how did you do it?” That’s been a really tough one.
So this morning I was on the treadmill and fretting because, after many, many weeks at this level, I’ve acutally plateaued. Worse, I actually think I might have gained a little weight (not muscle) and have been mildly freaking out about it. Don’t get me wrong, I don’t think there’s any problem with gaining a pound or two, but after so much work I’ve been legitimately (in my mind at least) concerned about backsliding.
Which is where these two threads come together. The answer to “how did you do it” and the way to stop freaking out about my current plateau are the same: it’s all about who you come to be along the way.
I’d tried various ways to “get healthy” before. By tried, I mostly mean “thought about.” One of the big reasons I didn’t find much success before was because I was concentrating on achieving a limited, short-term, usually aesthetic goal. Something like, “I want to lose 15 pounds before the summer.” Well, let me tell you from my own experience, this kind of plan is only setting yourself up for failure. My goal back in October was simply to “be healthy.” I took a definitive step on that road (for me it was counting calories) and I absolutely refused to look back. Then I started to get serious about exercising. Then I kicked both up a notch.
It was a progression, it was very gradual (no matter what people seem to think), and it was absolutely permanent. I wasn’t concerned about where my journey took me - I might have ended-up at 170 pounds or I might have ended-up at 120 pounds – that wasn’t the point. The point was that I was going to make these concrete steps towards a better me. I just remembered the dramatic transitions my mom and sister went through a few years back and one day I calculated how many calories I ought to be eating (you could do that here or here) and decided to only eat that much.
So, after my jog, I feel a lot better. Closely watching my weight used to be a reliable way for me to measure my success and stay motivated. It’s still going to be a part of my lifestyle, but now I realize and appreciate what I’ve accomplished. I’m also inspired to stay on the journey. Hopefully the Ragnar Relay will be one good next step. And, now I think I have better advice when people ask me how in the hell I did it.
My Life
07/23/2009 at 22:02 ET
Previous Posts
